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Baby Shower Frustration

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irisan View Drop Down
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    Posted: 3/14/2006 at 1:04pm

I am working on getting together the address list of baby shower invitees to give to my mom. I am running a little late on this because of everything we have had going on recently with the condo and my little sister is in the hospital, so my time has been spread pretty thin. I just called my mother in law to ask her if there was anyone she would like to add to the list, besides the usual family members and she says "Oh,  Dan didn't tell you the bad news?", and I told her no. I thought someone had died or something. Turns out that she and my FIL have vacation plans for the weekend of my babyshower. They paid for some sort of time share last summer. I asked her why she just doesn't go and so she loses some money, but what's more important right? I mean, this is her first grandchild and all. She said that she doesn't want to go, but they've already paid for it. Blah, blah, blah.

I got so upset and started tearing up right there, I had to get off the phone with her. She said she would call me later to talk about it. I don't know what to think. I really don't understand what the big deal is of cancelling. So, she might lose some $, but seriously, what is that in the grand scheme of things? How am I going to explain to the rest of the family why she isn't there? What about when the kid is old enough to see pics of the baby shower and realizes her grandma wasn't even there?

Dan is really upset. I think he is going to talk to her himself. He said he didn't tell me because she just told him last night, and he was still processing the entire thing, because it was so absurd.

I don't know what to think!!

October 16, 2004
EDD-May 21, 2006

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ali179 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote ali179 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 3/14/2006 at 1:18pm

I am so sorry that you have to deal with something like this when you obviously have much more important things to think about.  Your MIL is being so inconsiderate.  A weekend in a time share couldn't have cost them more than a couple hundred bucks and that can't be worth missing something like this. 

Maybe it's a little cold, but she's making the decision to miss out on something.that is very important.  If she can live with that, then you shouldn't worry about it.  Dan obviously sees this in the same way that you do, and that's what's important.



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October 15, 2005
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pradobride View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote pradobride Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 3/14/2006 at 1:22pm
That's ridiculous that she wouldn't just go later and miss the first day or so. I'm glad Dan supports you in this- he should be the one to talk to her about it first, probably. If she knew in advance this was the date (and even if she didn't) who misses their future grandkid's shower?? Sorry you have to deal with this.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote StevesKimmy Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 3/14/2006 at 1:25pm

That's bullsh*t, IMHO.

It isn't like it's a dinner party or something, or even a birthday. Occasionally those have to be missed, but there's only one baby shower and it's her first grandbaby!!!

I'm glad Dan is backing you up and honestly, because you're rightfully so sensitive about it, I'd let him do the communicating with her. I'm sure he'll tell her what's what.

A family of six missed our wedding because their son was playing in a high school football playoff game the night of the wedding and they "underestimated how long it would last." So, we paid for six of them to come and they missed it for a football game. I'm not planning on getting married again, but I'm sure the son will play football again.  Why don't people ask themselves these "what's more important" questions?


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irisan View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote irisan Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 3/14/2006 at 1:46pm

And, another thing- I told her about the date quite a while ago. She could of mentioned something about that date not working for her before the invites were printed and everything was set to go. I am sure she forgot all about it until recently. And, yet another thing- she is suppodedly co-hosting this shower with my mom.

October 16, 2004
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote elcynic Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 3/14/2006 at 1:49pm
Oh Iris... oh oh Iris. This just sucks beyond comprehension. And how could you NOT be hurt. I am so sorry and I just think this is rotten of her.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote gnabna Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 3/14/2006 at 1:49pm

Iris I'm so sorry you have to deal with this right now, especially in the midst of everything else that is going on.  That would piss me off too but is definitely something my MIL would do.  Let Dan talk to her and have them try to work it out. 

I agree with Ali, if she does it think that it is important enough to skip out on a timeshare weekend- don't worry about it.  It will be her loss!

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote techvixen Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 3/14/2006 at 2:06pm
Oh, punk ass!  I'm really sorry about this.  I seems so incredibly selfish on her part for a lot of reasons... The number one reason being it's her first grandbaby and the very close runner-up, she's co-hosting!  That's not fair to your mom and anyone else helping put things together.  Big comin' atcha!
Ummmm... yeah...
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote rubysoho Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 3/14/2006 at 2:11pm
Wow. IMO I think that its really selfhis of her to go on a vacation over your shower.  I'm sorry!

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote beach bride Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 3/14/2006 at 5:28pm
Oh no, Iris, I'm so sorry. That was totally sucky of her!
Seriously, if she was co-host why didn't she say something when the date was being discussed. She could have said something then and you could have picked a different date. But now it's way too late. Like everyone said, it's totally her loss! But I agree, let Dan deal with her and you just focus on your little peanut and helping your mom with the shower since now she is going to need the extra hands. If it were me, I'd let SIL go with a friend and go to the shower, but then again SIL should be there too! Aaaarrrrgggghhh!

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