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Calohigirl’s Wedding Journey

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dizzy_girl View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote dizzy_girl Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 3/07/2006 at 9:52pm

Hello.  I was checking in to see how your were doing with your FI gone.  Hang in there.  As you know, having gone through this before, there are tough times and easier times throughout the deployment...just keep that chin up.  Just think, when he comes back, the wedding will be right around the corner!

Take care.  If you ever need to talk, PM.

October 7, 2006
Oceanview Room, Point Loma
www.kellyandtre.com
Dizzy Girl's Bridal Blog



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calohigirl View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote calohigirl Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 3/07/2006 at 9:59pm
Thanks alot! I have been good - tear free since he left! As I said I got to talk with him this am so that always helps! I just realized all the stuff I still have to do for school from now until May and that will DEFINITELY keep me busy! LOL. I have shopped my butt off these past two days too. But thanks again! It is nice to have the support!
I'm Marrying a Coastie!
G&T-August 12, 2006
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Leni Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 3/08/2006 at 8:38am

Hi Calohigirl,

just dropped in your journal and wanted to say hello. You have done so much und everything sounds wonderful.

I know how you feel with your FI gone and 3 months can be a long time. But there will be so much to do with your school and your wedding, that time will pass by quickly. My FI and I have been in a long distance relationship for 3,5 years now and that leaving part is always the worst of it. I'm living in Germany and he is in the USA. I'm always crying my heart out at the airport, but it will get better everyday and then it becomes normal to be alone. Anyway, we will get married in July 2006 during my vacation. After that I have to go back for 8 weeks for my big exam. I'm becoming a physical therapist, so we are from a similar field. What fun is that? After that I'll come back to the USA, hopefully for good. Long story, short meaning, just wanted to say that I'm going to a similar situation and if you ever want to talk, just pm me.

Have a great day and hang in there girl Leni

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote bluii12 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 3/08/2006 at 9:01am
Doing great with the wedding planning!  Welcome to journaling, I've enjoyed reading so far!  You'll be okay without your FI here...just keep thinking happy thoughts! 
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote calohigirl Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 3/08/2006 at 12:01pm
Thanks girls! :)
I'm Marrying a Coastie!
G&T-August 12, 2006
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote calohigirl Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 3/08/2006 at 12:04pm
Oh and I wanted to pass this book recommendation on to you all:

The Five Love Languages - How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate by Gary Chapman

My priest recommended this book and it is very good. I gave one to Torrey as well before he left and he is almost done with it. I figured it was something good we could do together while we were apart. But it tells you all about how you express love and the different ways and how to understand how your mate expresses love! Very true and the actual stories Chapman uses from his therapy life are great. Hope you all get a chance to read it!
I'm Marrying a Coastie!
G&T-August 12, 2006
Wedding Website




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calohigirl View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote calohigirl Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 3/08/2006 at 12:44pm
Alright so I need to vent to anyone who is reading this! LOL.

So I know a lot of people live together before marriage but there has got to be people out there who don't. People who do always say "we get to know each other better" but the research and advice from marriage counselors and priests and other married couples is far from that. The divorce rate is TWICE as high for those who live together before marriage. I mean numbers do mean something. I feel like I know my fiance more than he knows himself. And no we dont live together. We still have issues that people who live together have like how to set up our household and chores, etc etc. We actively seek to improve our relationship through open communication. We have gone through counseling and have a very strong realtionship. I think a marriage should be the coming together of two people, two people moving in together once married. I think that is the exciting part about being married, now being a married coupling sharing one life.

Anyways just had to vent. SD seems so lax on this subject and it seems like the norm now for people to dwell together before married. Just hoping there are some more like Torrey and I out there who don't! :)
I'm Marrying a Coastie!
G&T-August 12, 2006
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dizzy_girl View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote dizzy_girl Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 3/08/2006 at 12:52pm

Hey there!

I have also read The 5 Languages of Love, and do agree it is a good book.  FI and I read that together nearly 2 years ago, and we still refer to it.  It can be difficult b/c my language of love is "quality time", and well, when you are dating/engaged/married to someone in the military, you don't always get what you need!  But, it works out.  FI is conscious of spending time with me.....luckily, his language of love is "touch", so it works out well!  You have to be together to touch each other! 

As far as living together, FI and I do.  I'm not preachy either way.  Ilived with one other person prior to FI, and I always swore I would NEVER live with anyone again unless I was married.  But, it just worked out in a VERY long complicated story that FI ended up living with me...and then I moved to live with him once he  moved out....and well, it is really a complicated story.

Anyway, I know MauraPea doesn't live with her FI.  You may want to talk with her about it.  Also, Pinayapr05 didn't live with her FI before their marriage.  There are other couples out there....

Have a good day!

October 7, 2006
Oceanview Room, Point Loma
www.kellyandtre.com
Dizzy Girl's Bridal Blog



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calohigirl View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote calohigirl Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 3/08/2006 at 12:58pm
Thanks Dizzy_Girl! I like getting your input. That is funny because Torrey's love language is quality time and mine is touch! LOL. You def have to be together for both. Is your FI going to stay in the military for the long haul? Torrey hopes to get out before we have children. He loves it so much, but I guess it is all about compromise. He might try some other government work so his time counts.
I'm Marrying a Coastie!
G&T-August 12, 2006
Wedding Website




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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote soontobeconsi Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 3/08/2006 at 3:58pm

Hi! I just read through your journal.

Deployments are so hard! Hang in there! My dad (and both grandfathers and various uncles, aunts, etc) was in the military. And FI and I did the long distance thing for a year and a half. Stay strong, girl!

Oh, and FI and I don't live together. It is what is best for us, but every relationship is different, so different things work for different people. Sometimes I think of the money we would save by living together, but it is really neat to look forward to marriage and living together. Plus, living together would have been difficult for either of our families to accept.

Good luck with all your planning! Everything sounds great!

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