drama between bridesmaid and Best Man

Ok..I have a situation.  I have a couple in my wedding party who's going through a separation.  They seemed to be fine in the beginning of our engagement when my FI and I asked them to be a part of our wedding.  But, as of recently, things have been getting ugly between them.  My FI and I now feel uncomfortable about their situation and that they both will be forced to attend our wedding events.  And I'm sure that it will be uncomfortable for them, as well.  We're much more comfortable and close to the Best Man then with his wife (1 of my bridesmaids).  The Best Man is on board with us.  His wife I haven't heard from in awhile.  I've e-mailed her and left her phone calls..but, nothing.  In my e-mail to her I let her know that we totally understand if being a part of our wedding is the last thing on her mind..and that as much as we want her to be a part of it..we totally understand if it's too uncomfortable for her or needs to take care of her and she wants to back out.  But, no response.  What do I do?  Or what should I do?  Talk about drama!!!  I just wanna get married, in peace.

too bad you're friends are going through this.

i'd leave her a msg or send her an email explaining to her that you're a new/nervous bride that wants to get all of her affairs in order and that if you don't hear from her by xx date, then you will assume she will be in attendance at the wedding but not in the wedding.  from there, i'd start developing plan b and getting another BM to "fill in."  caution, she's going through something very difficult so please do not read my response as cold and selfish - i definitely agree w/ Beach Meg - give her a shoulder to lean on.

- good luck

I think you've done all you can.  Just give her some time and space.  You don't want to bombard her with messages or e-mails during this difficult time.  Like you said, if worse comes to worse, you can have an un-even number, not a big deal.  You just want both of them to be comfortable with whatever the situation becomes.