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Estranged mom

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bridezilla View Drop Down
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    Posted: 7/01/2005 at 10:14am
I am NOT close to my mother. She has expressed absolutely no interest in the wedding. When I asked her "What do you see as your role in the wedding?" she said "I don't know. I guess I'm just the mother of the bride." She's not going dress shopping with me and isn't participating in anything. So my question is, when me and the bridesmaids get together to do makeup and hair, am I expected to pay for her as well? Do I even need to have her in the room??
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pinayapr05 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote pinayapr05 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 7/01/2005 at 10:26am
My mom and I are close, but I didn't pay for her hair/makeup... she was there while I was getting ready, but truthfully she was not much help.  I ended up feeling more supported by my godmothers b/c they helped keep me calm and laughing.  If you don't want her there, and she doesn't feel a need to be there, I don't think it's necessary.  If she's going to stress you out, you might just want to suggest that she meet everyone @ the ceremony site.  
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redping View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote redping Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 7/01/2005 at 10:33am

During the wedding planning process my mom wasn't the least bit supportive and basically avoided talking about it at all costs. I paid for my bridesmaids hair too and offered it for my mom too. She declined, but I still reached out. I wanted to give her as many opportunities as possible to be involved and she declined on all of them. She didn't want to dress shop, I didn't have a shower in the town I grew up in, she didn't even really contribute to the guest list excpet family. It was really hard for me to see my mom distance herself.

Anyway to answer your question you do not have to have her there, but it might be nice to reach out. If you do she'll probably decline anyway.

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mobb View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote mobb Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 7/14/2005 at 8:44am

My daughter and I are very close and I paid for her hair and makeup. I also paid for her MOH's hair and everyone's makeup (she had 5 BM + MOH).

I'm sorry that you are not close to your mom, this is such a special day and things will never be the same from the wedding forward. I hope that your mom will wake up and realize this for you.

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bridezilla View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote bridezilla Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 8/30/2005 at 11:11pm
Thanks ladies for all of your advice and help. I think for my own sanity that day, I won't have her there when we get ready. She can be there at the "unveiling" with my dad.

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sweetp View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote sweetp Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 9/16/2005 at 9:21pm
I agree-you really don't want to risk the chance that you are going to be upset or disappointed with her behavior on one of the most joyful and important days of your life!  Surround yourself with your bm's and other family and you will be great!
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote dizzy_girl Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 9/23/2005 at 8:16pm

Hey Bridezilla,

Sorry to hear that you and your mom are not close....that totally sucks.  But, I can somewhat relate to what you are saying b/c my Dad and I were never close and I always wondered how I would handle that during important times like a wedding.

Anyway, to get back on track....I think you need to do whatever YOU are most comfortable with and won't regret in the future.  I like Redping's idea of offering and just making the effort, but on the other hand, if that is not what you want to do and you'd rather not have her around while you are getting ready, do that.

You really just have to evaluate what you want and what you feel comfortable with and what you won't look back on and be sad that you did/did not do and go with that....

Good luck!

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote lilbug Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 10/09/2005 at 9:19am

Originally posted by dizzy_girl dizzy_girl wrote:

You really just have to evaluate what you want and what you feel comfortable with and what you won't look back on and be sad that you did/did not do and go with that....

I have to agree with dizzy_girl that regret is a b*tch.  Trust me, I know.  Now I'm not saying you should include her, I mean, if seeing her later on on your wedding day is what you think is best then that's what you should definitely do.  But take a step back and a deep breath and make sure this decision is something you truly want, not just feel right this moment, because you're not going to have a second chance to do this again.   


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bridezilla View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote bridezilla Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 12/26/2005 at 11:03am
I found a way to get mom involved so thank you for your kind words!
"I want the whole world to see just how good your love looks on me"--Rascal Flatts
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bubbles View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote bubbles Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 12/30/2005 at 11:48am
Can I ask....how?   curiosity killed the cat!!!!
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