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Military Brides?

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calohigirl View Drop Down
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    Posted: 3/05/2006 at 11:50am
Wondering if there are any other brides out there whose military FI has been deployed to Iraq? Mine just left and it is by far the hardest deployement and for one he just left and this is our 6th! How did you girls possibly get through it esp because it is Iraq???
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Jenbrian View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Jenbrian Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 3/09/2006 at 4:09am

Originally posted by calohigirl calohigirl wrote:

Wondering if there are any other brides out there whose military FI has been deployed to Iraq? Mine just left and it is by far the hardest deployement and for one he just left and this is our 6th! How did you girls possibly get through it esp because it is Iraq???

 

My fiance just got back a few months ago after being gone 13 months. He's a company commander of an infantry line troop (army).  I will tell you this, after Brian got back he said that he would be scared too if he watched the U.S News. He said that it really wasn't as bad as the news makes it out to be. 

As to your question "how do you get through it?". You just do it's as easy as that.  YOu can not consume yourself with where he is at. You need to go on with your life as if he's there.  Your job is to make his life as uncomplicated as it can be while he's at war.  Work on something that makes you happy while he's gone. Do not discuss major problems that you are having (if you have any) with him. I regret doing this once while he was gone. I went through a breakdown (2 collapsed lungs, dog attack , fmil with a brain tumor, fsil stole some of our money and my ex trying to get custody of our five year old) and started pouring my heart out. Telling him about all of this and he told me after getting back that he was constantly worried about me. That he felt that he couldn't help,that he was worthless. What ever you do don't make this mistake.

 

This deployment will be what you make out of it. I know women who cried during the entire him and were miserable. I know women who worked hard and achieved goals that made themselves and their husbands proud. Your going to miss him and the first few months are always the worst. But it does get easier as time rolls on. I have been through both types of deployment. There is a really huge difference. Nobody really cared when he was in kosovo. Now every one and their mother has a question to ask. It became a f**king headache. People asked some really stupid questions. So to leave this post on a brighter note:

some questions that are now funny but were not then:

How do you feel about your fiance fighting Georgie's war and putting his life at risk? (professor, and idiot)

How do you go that much time without having sex, don't you get horny?  my reply: well no because I have my boyfriend on the side and when brian get's back I will let him go. He knows the deal..you know? lol ...you should have seen the look on her face

Aren't you scared that he's going to get blown up?me: no i'm on his power of attorney, I get the money if he does.

Are you sure you want to get your wedding gown now? You may not want to get it till he get's back? me:why? ...well he may not come back  (sadly, my mom said this)

my mom again:   It terrible how many guys are getting killed over there. This war is horrible, just horrible.

Before brian deployed: I went to a group on campus "muslim students association" aka terrorist group. I'm sorry these people are absolute future terrorists. Anyways, they started talking about Israel and the US and the zionist take over . How they "supported our troops and not bush". Right i'm thinking. I stand up and ask why they can't just be honest and say they don't give a damn about the soldiers. One guy stood up and said "okay, fine I don't care and they deserve to get blown up for what they are doing". I smiled and walked out. Sadly nobody else did. Funny enough the campus paper never reported his statment in their article.

Be prepared for stupidity and to laugh at it. A sense of humor will get you through it. Sorry about the rambling it's 4:15 and I can't sleeep.

 



Edited by Jenbrian
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nicolejrx View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote nicolejrx Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 3/13/2006 at 11:40pm

Keep you chin up!

My fiance just left for his second tour 2 weeks ago.  First tour was from aug '04 to March '05.  This one luckily will only be around 3 months because of his residency.  He is a physician in the Navy but managed to get orders to a Marine Infantry unit.  Unfortunately when they sign them up for Navy medicine they leave out the whole part that the Navy provides medical care to the Marines!

Anyways, it is rough.  That is awesome if your guy is on a ship though and not on the ground.  Ken was/is currently in a pretty crazy place in Iraq, he was even wounded there last time and got a purple heart.  So, it was very hard for me to let go this time.

I can't believe you have already done six!  You must be a pro!  Honestly I just try to not watch the news too much.  I just don't want to know what is going on over there when he is there himself. 

I also just try to keep busy, I work alot more when he is gone.  That seems to occupy my time.  Planning some of the details of the wedding helps too.  It makes me feel closer to him.  Good luck to you and your fiance!

Ken and Nicole's Wedding Rancho Bernardo Inn
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calohigirl View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote calohigirl Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 3/14/2006 at 12:13am
Thanks nicolejrx. Good luck to you too! Unfortunately my FI is on land as well. I just hate not knowing the details about what he is doing. That is what always gets me...he is super law abiding and doesnt divulge anything about where he is etc. However I have been able to talk with him every few days or so. I am super busy with school now so that def helps. I am so sorry for you too! Good luck with that! I always say though that whether it is 3 months, 6 months, it is always too long!
I'm Marrying a Coastie!
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote nicolejrx Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 3/14/2006 at 10:43pm

calohigirl,

   I see you are getting married in August, congrats!  I have heard lots of good things about the AKC.  That is awesome that you have been able to talk to him!  I just got Ken's USB headset to mail to him so we will be able to talk quite frequently after he gets that.  He will have a private internet connection in his office which is so cool!  Way better than when he was over there last time.   We are both looking at around the same time frame when our men come back!

Nicole

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