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Random comments from friends and family

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Category: Other
Forum Name: Family, Friends & Relationships
Forum Description: Discuss topics related to the affects of planning your wedding with your family, friends and other relationships
URL: http://www.bridalinsidercommunity.com/forum_posts.asp?TID=19707
Printed Date: 8/22/2018 at 6:10am
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Topic: Random comments from friends and family
Posted By: FutureMrsONeal
Subject: Random comments from friends and family
Date Posted: 3/09/2006 at 2:03pm

My FI's sister always has something "interesting" to say about our wedding and today was no different.  I wanted to start a thread for the most random things that friends and family say about the wedding.  I know I can't be the only one who knows people who just don't think before they speak.

Last time they spoke, about a month ago her gem was "now are you SURE O is the right one for you?"  Nearly a year after he proposed.  Mind you I've spent a total of 5 hours with her!

Today, she asked FI, "are you guys still getting married?"  Um, hello, the whole family's flights are booked, our website is clearly up and I send out monthly wedding updates!  FI was like, um, YEAH, what would give you the impression that we weren't.   She had no reason, she was "just checking."

Any other interesting comments out there?



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Replies:
Posted By: BeachBabe
Date Posted: 3/09/2006 at 2:23pm
Aw, cripes - ya' just gotta love family, eh?

My fave: when I moved to Spain to be with FI, I'd call my mom about every 3 months to say "hi" and let her know I hadn't been kidnapped and dragged to a foreign land. Anyway, she'd start off our conversation with the usual pleasantries and then say: "So, how's....um, uh..." (long pause) and I'd go, "Mother - his name is 'THOMAS' " and she'd say, "Oh yes - Thomas...well dear, there have been so many" and then she'd do this fakey laugh. I about came UNGLUED!!! It's a good thing I was 9,000 miles away from where they lived.... we don't talk anymore, but I'm sure if she called, she *STILL* wouldn't remember FI's name. And I've been with him for more than 4 year now!


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BB


Posted By: dizzy_girl
Date Posted: 3/09/2006 at 4:38pm

I haven't gotten any random comments about if we are still getting married, or forgetting FI's name....

But my mother is driving me nuts....since I am being particular or having a hard time with deciding on some things, she has told me NUMEROUS times that it won't matter what I decide on b/c on the wedding day I still won't be happy.  HELLO!  The first time she said it, I went off on her....but she still continues to say it any time I second guess something. 

Also, she has told me several times that I better just relax that day and be sure to eat (I'm hypoglycemic and do get really bad mood swings if my blood sugar drops) or else I'm going to end up being a real b*tch on the wedding day.

Uh, gee.....thanks MOM!  



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Posted By: Blossom
Date Posted: 3/09/2006 at 5:33pm

I'm in a similar situation as dizzy_girl when it comes to my mom. I'm very detail oriented, and she's just the opposite, so she gets really annoyed when she thinks I'm being too particular about things. She hasn't gone as far as telling me I won't be happy with anything on my wedding day, but she did once say to me, "You're doing EVERYTHING wrong!"



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Posted By: kateandpat
Date Posted: 3/09/2006 at 5:33pm
My mom had been talking with my family about FI and my wedding.  She was telling everyone how happy she was about everything.  A little while after this happened, my aunt kinda cornered her and said "so how do you REALLY feel???"  When my mom told her that she meant every word  she said, my aunt again asked her "Yes, but how do you REALLY feel????What kind of question is that???  My mom is still really upset that she would ask something like that.

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Posted By: itsmars
Date Posted: 3/09/2006 at 6:16pm

totally opposite for me! it's not WHAT my my mom says but what she DOESN'T say! she so emotionless! i swear, everything i show her just takes a look at it and says "nice". when i came out in my gown, and my sister, my BMs and I were all teary eyed that i'd found "the one" she said.. "It's nice"!! Even when I called to her to tell her I got engaged!!! all i got was " Wow. That's nice."

ooh, and one time i was talking to my FSIL about studying abroad and how hard it was to be away from FI (we weren't engaged when i went to study abroad) and she says to me: "Yeah. I'm surprised you guys stayed together, i was sure you'd break up."



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Posted By: FutureMrsONeal
Date Posted: 3/09/2006 at 7:08pm
Mars, your comment from your mom about you getting engaged sounds
similar to FI's mom's response. She said "oh, can I get back to watching 60
minutes?"

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Posted By: itsmars
Date Posted: 3/09/2006 at 7:14pm
seriously! i'm not asking that you jump up and down, tom cruise style, on the couch!!  i mean, can ya give me a little more than "Wow. That's nice."????? COME ON, PEOPLE!! WORK WITH ME!!

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Posted By: Elinor
Date Posted: 3/09/2006 at 7:36pm
Reading this thread is making me feel better and better about my own
ever-so-challenging mother.   

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Posted By: blublusher
Date Posted: 3/09/2006 at 11:06pm
itsmars it was the same for me!! My parents are so emotionless but I guess I should of expected that. They've always been like that since I was a kid. Very old fashion from the old world!! My FI still gives me trouble about it because when we told my dad, he got straight to business about the particulars of our Chinese culture but there was no congratulations just "ok thats good" geez!! and I was practically in tears i was so happy!

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Posted By: lionessdiane
Date Posted: 3/11/2006 at 12:43pm
This has hit a nerve with me!
The lack of eunthusiasm in my world has rubbed off and now even I am having trouble caring about the wedding!
No weird comments but I don't talk to my Mom because of a falling out about 10 years ago so I wish I at least had her in my life to shrug off the wedding plans. :(
Hang in there everyone!
Diane

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Posted By: bluii12
Date Posted: 3/11/2006 at 2:10pm
My mom has been great since we've been engaged, but before the engagement, I had dated my FI for 8 years.  Needless to say, there were comments dropped left & right about "when the hell he was going to get his act together", "maybe I should think about leaving him", etc. etc.  It was difficult to explain that even if I wasn't getting married (at the time), I was still very happy with my FI, and certainly more happy than if I wasn't in the relationship with him!

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Posted By: bluii12
Date Posted: 3/11/2006 at 2:16pm

From another Discussion Board that I am a part of...too funny!

"Wedding Planning My Ass"


that's the name of my new book.
all those bridal magazines, wedding planning books, self-help websites that tell you, "welcome to the rest of your life! planning your wedding is the happiest time of your life, and it's an opportunity to bring all your loved ones together. cherish this time, because it's precious."

oh yeah?
precious my ass.

i've planned my own wedding. i've helped friends plan theirs. i've witnessed knotties and chitties plan their weddings. and know what i see over and over again? politics that would make a senator blush. because face it, you can't make everyone happy. oh sure, the weekly email will tell you to be diplomatic and understanding. and they'll tell you how to compromise and keep the peace. but they don't tell you just how much Xanax you'll need over a 17-month period. the only person that gets screwed in the end is the bride and groom. no matter who you try to please, there will be another party out there who's going to bitch about your decision and make you feel like sh*t. no one wins. don't be fooled.

so that's why i'm writing a new book: Wedding Planning My Ass
your worst-case scenario (aka most likely the case scenario) guide to surviving wedding planning. excerpts include:

PROBLEM
divorced parents can't agree who's name goes first on the invite?
SOLUTION
the invite is a secret until they get theirs in the mail.

PROBLEM
family members demanding you don't seat them with aunt Bea who 20 years ago accidentally broke your jump rope and they're still bitter?
SOLUTION
guests find out their seating arrangements when they get there.

PROBLEM
uncle jim wants to bring his 12 year old son to the wedding although you specifically say "adults only" and have a strict "no kids under 18" rule, not even FGs or RBs.
SOLUTION
tell him to bite you. either respect your decision or stay home.

PROBLEM
MOB is worried that MOG's flowers will be brighter or bigger than hers.
SOLUTION
both mothers find out what their flowers look like when they're delivered to the ceremony. by then it's too late to change.

PROBLEM
BMs complain that the $99 dresses you found for them on a super-discount site are too expensive, $25 is too much for makeup, even though you're paying for their hair to be done. you worked your ass off to find inexpensive gowns and vendors, yet they still bitch and say they'll book their own makeup at a salon 20 miles away.
SOLUTION
if they have a problem with your efforts to be as diplomatic and fair as possible, ask them if they'd feel more comfortable sitting at the back of the church watching the rest of the BMs stand beside you during the ceremony. it's cheaper that way.

interested?
then reserve your advance copy of Wedding Planning My Ass at
http://www.biteme.com/wedding - www.biteme.com/wedding for the bargain basement price of $6.66!!

 



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Posted By: bubbles
Date Posted: 3/11/2006 at 2:33pm
Bluii12...that is hilarious!!!!!!!!!  We could and on to that you know!!!

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Posted By: higheribq
Date Posted: 3/12/2006 at 4:43pm
OMG, that is soooo funny!  I think you should go ahead and write it; I know I'm ready to buy it!  Then when people ask those awkward questions, I could just respond by saying "I've read about this in a new book published by wedding experts and the response to your question is 'bite me'!"  I love it!


Posted By: bubbles
Date Posted: 3/12/2006 at 5:14pm
I feel like I have to refrain from telling people to "bite me" everyday!!!!  hmmm...i'm a little grouchy!!!

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Posted By: bluii12
Date Posted: 3/12/2006 at 8:16pm
Just for the record, I cannot take credit for this book.  I've borrowed the comments from another woman on a different wedding-based discussion board in Chicago!

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Posted By: alwaysabrdsmaid
Date Posted: 3/12/2006 at 9:16pm
My FI has a couple of tattoos and he was talking with his sister about how he wanted to get another one.  He said as a joke, "my next one will have alwaysabrdmaid's name on it." Her response? "Tattoos last a lot longer than marriages!" Sheesh - that was mean! And, besides, he was joking!

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Posted By: chadanderika
Date Posted: 3/14/2006 at 2:37pm

When my FI approached my parents asking permission, my dad's response was: "You sure you want to do THAT?!?!?! You know what you are getting into."

Thanks dad. I thought you were on my side.



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Posted By: hez13
Date Posted: 3/14/2006 at 3:24pm

This has been a great post. I have had some of my own things. The best has been from my mother. I am moving (in just over a month) to MT to be with my FI. When I first told my mother all she could say is it cold and she will not be visiting in the winter.

Needless to say, this was not the last comment. Almost every time we talked it was another comment about me moving. She kept telling me that when she lived in the snow she hated it and I would hate it as well. It was just not going to be fun and I would be miserable.

Finally, I told my mom that if she didn't have anything nice to say about my move then don't say anything at all. She has now stopped making comments that were stressing me out.



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Posted By: calohigirl
Date Posted: 3/14/2006 at 3:29pm
when we got engaged my dad's response was "why aren't you getting married sooner" and my mothers response was "can't you get married in 3 years?"... i mean seriously.....3 years? I think my FI would have died if we had waited 3 years...this 15 months has been tough enough.

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Posted By: davesgal
Date Posted: 3/17/2006 at 11:00pm
My family has been ok but it's my friends that have been a problem...
When informed of our engagment, my best friend since the age of twelve said "oh, well are you having a wedding?" (obvious disapproval dripping from her mouth) and then when I asked her to go gown shopping "You should just rent a dress, I mean they are so expensive, all for a dress you wear once and then put in a box somewhere to save for this supposed daughter you're gonna have..."
I thought about asking her if she would be happy if I just went to Salvation Army! And then another friend's response..."oh, really,(pause) I would never get married again!"
The first is divorced (her choice) and the second is unhappily married but c'mon- I've waited until I found the right guy... and we've been together 7 1/2 years- so it's not like I don't know him well...jeez!
Just be happy for us
I'm just avoiding them until the day of the wedding


Posted By: calohigirl
Date Posted: 3/17/2006 at 11:27pm
man o man! what friends huh. this is just a random thing but my FI's fam threw an engagement party for us. i thought it was really strange the no one the ENTIRE night asked to see my ring? thought it a bit odd, esp because it was all of his family's friends etc and I had never met any of them.

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I'm Marrying a Coastie!
G&T-August 12, 2006
http://www.theknot.com/ourwedding/ginnafuselier&torreybertheau - Wedding Website
http://www.snugglepie.com">
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Posted By: davesgal
Date Posted: 3/17/2006 at 11:52pm
Calohigirl-None of them!?! People can be so wierd!

Maybe they didn't want to seem fixated on the ring rather than getting to know you.
As I've seen here on the boards, weddings seem to bring out the strange in some people. Some rise to the occasion and show their best, others not.

I ended up asking my SIL (brother's wife) to be my MOH rather than any of my friends becasue whe was so enthusiastic and supportive when we announced our engagement. We haven't always gotten along but have worked hard over the last year to become friends again. Now that she is my MOH it really gives us something to bond over... and my duddy friends (who I haven't really heard from) just aren't getting the chance to rain on our parade. We're happy and we'll just see them at the wedding!


Posted By: Ness
Date Posted: 3/19/2006 at 8:01am

This topic is just the place for my FI's aunt. She has made comments all through out our dating years, now she REALLY has an opinion on me. The funny thing she doesn't even know me. She told my FSIL that she doesn't like me but whatever make my FI happy. Well she doesn't like my FSIL either (aunt has told me) and FSIL knows it, so of course she tells me. I told my FMIL and she said her sister doesn't even know me why would she say something like that. She's crazy.

When we were home and talking about wedding details she went off telling me how wrong I was  for not having Mexican food at the reception (I'm Hispanic). I told her we're having chicken cause it's a neutral food. I was wrong for doing that. This crazy lady acts like shes paying for the wedding.

Besides wedding stuff, she keeps saying "I'll have to split my time between Vegas (BIL lives there) & SD to watch your kids too." AHH no crazy lady you don't like me, who knows what you'll say to my kids (she talks bad about my FSIL to their kids). FI knows how I feel about her so she will never watch our kids. But she by no means wants us to have kids soon. Reality check it's our damn lives. We will have them when WE want. She's the crazy aunt that we have to put up with, I want to tell her to Shut it.

AAHHH, this has made me feel better. Thanks ladies



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     November 11, 2006



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